So many Catholics my age and up are quite ambivalent about Mary, seeing any kind of devotion to her as pre-Vatican II, overly sentimental and out of place. But Mary has been an important part of my life, dating back to early memories of lighting a candle at her shrine in our church, novena prayers to Our Mother of Perpetual Help on Tuesday evenings and a nun at Holy Family Hospital taking me in the chapel there and talking about Mary. I frequently went to that hospital chapel for years, praying before the beautiful, gentle statue of Mary, up until I entered the seminary in 1979.

In my seminary years, 1979-1984, devotion to Mary didn’t exist but my love for Mary continued, very much under the radar. I wanted to fit in and not be labeled a traditionalist, truly wanting to be a priest. I didn’t want this to be a “red flag,” so my love of Mary was discrete and private.

Mary has followed me and inspired me in many ways. She has been a powerful witness in responding to God’s calling with one’s whole heart. She has been a “presence” in my life and priesthood, my spiritual “mother” wanting me to be loved by her Son. Mary has only deepened my love for Christ.

It might surprise a number of people, many parishioners, that I made a promise to pray the Rosary daily and I made a personal act of consecration to Mary a number of years ago. I personally dedicated the parish to her when I became a pastor. I have to mention St. Teresa of Avila, who has been another powerful person in my life. These two women are so very important to me.

Why am I writing about Mary now, as I approach the end of the Camino, as we come to the end of our liturgical season, as we are about to begin Advent in two weeks? In short, Mary has been guiding me on this tiresome journey across Spain, making her presence known in simple, gentle ways. Through a ceramic tiled image on a wall off the Camino, watching pilgrims passing by, rarely seeing her image, to beautiful statues of wood, bronze, plaster and ceramic in countless places of prayer, Mary has been a presence of hope and comfort.

Mary and her Son will be with me as I enter Santiago and spend some days there in prayer. Mary and Christ clearly want me back in Chicago. What awaits…who knows but her Son, and He is saying nothing to me but to trust.

Final note: the Eucharist is at the heart of the church, our parish and my priesthood. No one has ever mentioned to me at any of the parishes I have served in over forty years, that in EVERY Eucharistic Prayer, I have prayed, after the priest mentions “Mary, the Mother of God,” “and our Mother.” I was inspired to do this when my rector at the seminary said those very words in each Eucharistic Prayer. That rector was Fr Jim Keleher who became Bishop Keleher of the Belleville Diocese and the Kansas City Diocese. He just died a week ago: November 9, 2024.

Thank you Bishop Jim Keleher for your love of Mary and accepting me at the seminary in 1979. When I called you in 1978, out of the blue, and told you I wanted to be a priest, and you never even heard of me, you welcomed me and my parents to come to the seminary. We did so on that bitter cold Sunday afternoon in 1978. I haven’t thought of that Sunday in many years. A gift of the Camino.

Well, I just couldn’t do it, I couldn’t get into my room where I am staying now. I had the “card” to enter, keys are long gone, and every way, every position, I just couldn’t get the door to open. I would call this an “obstacle” of entrance. I wasn’t listening to the receptionist’s explanation, which were in perfect English, no less.

Jesus has a stern warning for all of us, His followers, who have “obstacles” within door of our hearts, keeping Jesus OUTSIDE. I have a propensity to be rushed, in action and judgement, to be envious, to see the glass as “half empty”, and fear of conflict, a big one. Running away from conflict is a huge obstacle. And facing conflict with an overly judgmental reaction is an even larger one.

I have acknowledged some of my obstacles to letting Christ through the door of my heart. Advent is upon us, a season that reminds us that Jesus will come into our lives at a most unexpected time, particularly at the moment of death, a moment we will be invited to walk through that “doorway” and into eternal Redemption.

What are your own obstacles Christ is asking you to acknowledge and let go of? One magnificent breath of hope as we will breathe our final breath leads to the next “breath” in which we will face the door of Christ’s MERCY.

Walking through this door, this gateway will be more gentle without the obstacles. Even so, Christ awaits with open arms to place us on His shoulders: the Good Shepherd indeed!!!

A common theme of this, my fourth Camino, is walking alone, since much of the infrastructure of the Camino is closing down due to the few pilgrims walking. I knew this would be the case, but didn’t realize the impact it would have on me.

I’ve adjusted walking alone by not expecting much socialization, or anticipating interacting with many pilgrims. The few I have encountered have been friendly and welcoming, but could not speak much English and my Spanish is limited. I just spent over an hour talking with a woman and her husband in a tiny cafe outside Astorga, the owners. We used our phones with the translation App and did quite well. trying to communicate. She helped me get a taxi for the next village, since I need to stop walking after 13 miles due to signify muscle pain in upper leg. I’m fine.

I’m now at a great hotel in a town called Ponferrada, which is largely deserted. The solitary journey continues, allowing me the time to reflect and pray. I do not feel lonely at all because I have the gift of a beautiful “inner” journey, enriched by memories that are vivid and surface at just the right time. The people who have gone before me, family, friends, parishioners, the saints I have come to love, all accompany me throughout my “external” journey that has brought me here to Spain to venerate the bones of St. James in Santiago.

The journey continues from village to village, eventually to Santiago in about eight days and then back to Chicago, St. Teresa’s and beyond, wherever God wishes to lead me. Pilgrimages are simply external expressions of the internal journeys we all are on. All my daily walks around Chicago are small pilgrimages that make my inner journey more vivid and dynamic. They give life to my ministry, teaching, preaching and daily life.

I have learned during this solitary journey that I like the company I keep!!! The vast majority of my time alone I am engaging in all the memories that continue to surface of the people who have made such a difference in my life. These people become my prayer: I pray for them and they accompany me…how can I possibly be lonely?? My life is not dull or lonely because of all the experiences I have had with beautiful people at every stage of my life.

Finally, memories aren’t always pleasant or good. Actually, some of the memories we carry can be quite painful. This solitary journey has given me the time to be sorrowful for the ways I have hurt people and to let mercy and forgiveness heal the memories of people who have caused me sorrow. Broken relationships can be healed even if the person has passed away. Reconciliation can be a possibility. I have had many tears of joy and many tears of sadness. That’s life…

Tomorrow, I’m off to my favorite place on the Camino and one of my favorite places I have ever visited: O’Cebreiro, the first village in Galicia with Santiago just ahead. I’m doing this with the help of a taxi, since it’s the most strenuous part of the Camino, extremely so. My memory is quite vivid on this point.

Arrived in this beautiful city with a cathedral of gothic structure and breathtaking windows. The building itself is a work of art dating back to the 13th century. Previously, large church structures had to be built of massive, thick walls which had few, if any, windows, because the walls would collapse given the open spaces. Several architects of the 13th century envisioned a style of architecture that would allow for thinner walls supported by buttresses, columns and arches.

The Leon cathedral was one of the first buildings that allowed light to pour in thru tens of thousands of glittering stained glass pieces, formed to tell the stories of the Old Testament, the New Testament, images of nature, the animal world, the creation of humanity, the focus being on Christ. The Cathedral faces East allowing the suns raise to blaze thru the stained glass illuminating them to tell a story through architecture and colors of glass.

Its foundation began to weaken as the centuries progressed, to the point that in the 19 century, the walls with the precious windows would completely collapse. The foundation needed to be strengthened, and it was strengthened due to the vision and brilliance of certain architects. A scaffolding was built and the work began which took years in fortifying the building’s foundation.

Once finished, the scaffolding had to be removed leaving the building in a precarious state without the support of the scaffolding. After the scaffolding was removed the people could hear the “moaning, crunching” sound as the building sunk into its fortified state.

I love this true story about a treasure of a building, art, architecture telling a story. A building built on the foundation of Faith, but its physical foundation needed restoration. Foundations are important, especially ones rooted in a VISION. Without a vision, your life will whither and fall apart. Beauty transforms the mind and heart to flame into life a vision. Faith is the key. Religion is the expression of faith.

When the foundation of our lives is Christ, we will become like a fragment of beautiful glass of unique colors or a multiplicity of colors. This is the church of Christ, Who IS the Foundation. And like the Leon Cathedral, we need renovation, restoration, purification to fortify our foundation in Christ. May we, who are this beautiful building built of “living stones,” not weaken this wonderful structure with pessimism, constant criticism, complacency and bitterness.

How can YOU make the church more beautiful?

Yes, wearing dry clothes has become a luxury, since the climate is quite humid and the mornings filled with must and fog. Draping wet clothes after being washed in sink or shower do not dry overnight. Heat is a rarity so I sleep fully clothed with my jacket on.

I came up with the idea of hanging a clothes line across each room I stay, draping the wet clothes over a clothes line, allowing them to dry more easily. I couldn’t find a clothes line anywhere. The store I purchased my new walking poles didn’t have any clothes lines for camping but I found a package of bungy cords with hooks at the ends that could be connected, lengthening the line. It worked!!!! And I remembered to purchase close pins!!

In today’s gospel, Jesus commended the dishonest steward for making a bad situation work out. He did so by lessening the debt that debtors owed his master. The steward was hired to be a good manager of the master’s products to be lent out, with a price, of course. But he appropriated what wasn’t his by stealing. Sound familiar??? Jesus commends his ingenuity, even though it was very dishonest.

This steward just lessened what each person owed, getting in their good graces, ingratiating himself, so that they might help him out after being fired. Jesus loves this guy’s wit and worldly wisdom. I made a bad situation work out for me not in any dishonest but it did have some worldly wisdom about it. The two clerks who were helping me thought my idea was great. Such a little thing to be so happy about.

Yes, indeed, I lost my tried and true hiking poles that have been my support through three caminos. At one of the places I staid, they gave me a pair of used ones, which is great, but they kept bending, and sinking down as I put pressure on them climbing a hill. Not much of a help at all.

Walking in the village of Carrion de los Condes, I actually found a Camino store open, in off season!!!And there was my new set of poles, waiting for me. The clerk was so gracious as she showed me how they work and how strong they were as she pounded them on the floor with much vigor and force. The poles seemed to cry out to me, “We won’t disappoint you.” I found my poles, arrayed in silver and orange, waiting to be my help as I prepare to enter the glorious city of Leon.

Not quite like the “lost shepherd,” but there is a rather poignant parallel: when awe are “found” after getting lost in life, we become a “new creation” very different from before our getting lost. We are changed within the depths of our being through the gift, the energy of grace, as we allow Christ to be the one we “lean on” as we struggle up life’s many hurdles and sometimes steep mountains of inner suffering.

Lean on Christ as I lean on these poles, Christ who leads us on the right path, chosen just for us. May we stay on that path chosen path. Even if we start wandering, losing Christ as our guide and support, he is waiting for us with open arms to be found once again.

I’m going to celebrate right now by celebrating Mass for you.

These poles came at a price, however: $50.00 and worth every penny.

I love writing in this blog and sending photos but I cannot respond to any of your comments. I don’t even know who is writing or even reading unless they mention it. Even if everyone did, I still can’t respond without the response appearing so that everyone can read it.

I just want you all to know I deeply appreciate your reading the posts. The various comments have been very kind and supportive of this journey. Thank you all so much. The solitude on this Camino has allowed me to pray and reflect. I hardly see any pilgrims and most of cafes and restaurants are closed until April. The ability to pray with few distractions and lots of solitude is a gift to be treasured.

My physical difficulties are getting much better as my body and muscles are getting readjusted to movement and backpack. I’m using muscles I haven’t used in 8 years!!!! Im getting excited because in a few days I will arrive in Leon, a magnificent city with a most beautiful cathedral. I’m staying in a very nice place for two nights. Those muscles need some rest!

I’m praying for you all. Can’t wait to return: First Sunday of Advent!!!

A tough and challenging question that Jesus asks in so many words in today’s gospel. He lays it on the line in stark terms: hating family members, taking up your cross, renouncing all your possessions. Wow! He reminds us not even to start something you can’t finish or follow through.

I guess it’s something like deciding on walking the Camino. I had to first consider if I could handle the lengthy pilgrimage physically, emotionally; if I had enough energy; who will say the masses?; do I have enough time?; money?

For 4-5 weeks I’ve given up my possessions, I’ve carried the cross of this pilgrimage, I have given up family and friends, making Christ the focus of the journey and companionship, letting go of being in control.

But I’m only doing this for 4-5 weeks. Jesus seems to be saying to me that He wants ALL of me ALL the time. Nothing and no one can become the center of my life, neither possessions not loved ones. And I must accept whatever cross is given to me. Jesus is asking me to first accept the cost and then follow, never looking back.

He is asking you the very same reality. But we are in this together.

As I entered a tiny village, an elderly nun wearing a short veil approached me. She was determined to engage me, for she spoke, in Spanish, a lot of words I didn’t understand but I finally understood her to ask me where I was from. Her demeanor was so kind and even funny. When I asked in broken Spanish how many nuns there were in her Community, she responded eleven. And then she made gestures indicating that many weren’t doing well mentally. How she let me know they were most likely suffering from dementia was ironically so funny.

When I was ready to keep walking, she motioned for me to follow her to a tiny chapel a ways down. We got there, she retrieved a key from her pocket and opened the door to the chapel which was beautiful. Then she looked at me and put her hands on my head saying she wanted to bless me!!!

And indeed she did!!! A very lengthy one, asking Christ to be with me and guide me. She ended the blessing by giving me a Miraculous Medal on a leather cord that she placed around my neck. I’ve never been blessed by a nun… ever. It was moving and left me with the strength to carry on.

SHE opened the little church; SHE welcomed me; SHE blessed me. In the gospel Jesus teaches us to be like this nun: welcoming, engaging, blessing people. In the story Jesus told, a man gave a large dinner and invited many. But a large number of those invited made excuses why they couldn’t go. So he asked his servants to invite the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame. He wanted his “home” filled to capacity.

We all have excuses why we delay in following the Lord‘s many invitations in nourishing our lives with the bread of mercy, forgiveness, serving in some way, helping to fill the house of the church. What might your excuse be?

Several posts ago I wrote a post about getting lost but titled it, “Gethsemene.” The post had nothing to do with Gethsemene. This is the actual post for Gethsemene. I had two different thoughts for that day, getting lost and Gethsemene. This is Gethsemene, a deeply personal moment of transfiguration.

I found myself lost because I saw what appeared to be several olive trees. Fascinated, I walked into this area and saw hundreds of olive trees surrounding me. I immediately thought of Jesus, praying with his disciples the night before he died in the very Garden of Gethsemene. Jesus was filled with fear and asked that the cup of suffering be taken from him, but only if it were the will of the Father. It wasn’t. Jesus embraced the Cup. I could feel his anxiety, no his ANGUISH, as his sweat became blood, dropping on the ground. (Luke’s Gospel) Being surrounded by these olive trees evoked that moment of reckoning for Jesus that began his Passion.

Within an hour of this experience, I found myself in the remnants of a church over 800 years old. Inside was a chapel with a most beautiful image of our Lord crucified. A kind and gentle elderly woman, a sort of docent, brought me up to this wooden crucifix and explained that it was from the 12th century… a work of absolute beauty. It mesmerized me, in a strange way, for I felt peace. The woman pointed to the face of Jesus and said His bowed head was filled with tranquility, kindness, gentleness. She so beautifully that we usually see a tormented face of Christ on the Cross. But not in this magnificent wooden sculpture.

Her words of explanation I will never forget. In one day, I experienced two juxtaposing images of Christ during his passion: a tortured face in Gethsemene and a peaceful face on the Cross. This experience, in the midst of getting lost, haunted me in a most striking way. It continues to do so. Christ embraced the Cup of suffering which became the Cup of our salvation. Amazing!!!!!

We all go through experiences of Gethsemene, horribly painful, not wanting to ACCEPT the Cup of suffering. It can feel as though you are “sweating blood.” Seeing someone suffering so that you, yourself suffer, the pain of loneliness, betrayal, your own illness, chronic depression are all moments in Gethsemene.

It’s when we ACCEPT them, live through them, that a peaceful tranquility takes hold of our hearts. The realities may still be there, but peace has dissolved despair. Hope rises with Christ as we emerge from the Garden of Gethsemene into a Garden of Hope…awaiting a glorious Resurrection with Christ. I am still walking a bit off the ground, even as my body groans. My heart is bursting with joy.