The Death of a Pilgrim

It’s Halloween and the walk is going ok. But unfortunately, a fellow pilgrim on the Camino died of a heart attack yesterday. Yes, people die on the Camino, since having a heart attack makes it a near certainty that the person will die, given the amount of time it takes for help to arrive. The person, named Michael, collapsed in the village of O’Cebreiro, one of my favorite places on the Camino. An emergency helicopter arrived but it was too late. CPR was tried but unsuccessful.

I always joked I wouldn’t mind dying on The Camino, what a way to go!! All the comments on the Camino blog said the same thing, that it was a beautiful way to die. Michael’s partner agreed that despite the suddenness of his passing and the horrible grieving that awaits loved ones, he died doing what he loved.

I hope I make it to O’Cebreiro which is two weeks away, so I can honor my fellow pilgrim Michael.

Right now, after eating lots of candy I just purchased in honor of Halloween, I am thinking about life’s “thin places,” experiences that come on in an instant, lifting the veil that separates us from God and the world beyond our sight. Transcendence: something outside of ourselves overshadows us, unlocking a forgotten memory, carrying us over a threshold beyond our everyday life. For me, the corner of Dayton and Dickens, just a few blocked from the rectory, is a beautiful “thin place,” the three story building on the corner is where my mom, aunt, uncle and grandparents lived in the 1930’s and 40’s standing their I am transported by memories that keep giving me hope. My ancestors, my family… they are alive!!! They are with me, but not visible. But they are definitely alive and well.

Halloween originated in a world that believed an invisible wall or barrier existed, that separates this world of ours with the world beyond sight. On this one day, Halloween, that barrier dissolved, allowing the spirits to make their presence felt. Putting on a costume allowed you to hide your true identity, making it impossible for the spirit of a dead person who didn’t like you for whatever you did to him when he was still alive, to recognize you.

This is the ultimate “thin place,” this time of Halloween, because we celebrate the ways we can be open to experiences that transport us over the threshold between the visible and invisible….everyday!!! The spirits of the dead return and are given freedom to interact with us in ways beyond our control or manipulation. We are NOT communing with the dead!! We experience their presence in ways that God wishes. We pray to them and with them, but there presence remains in mystery.

On this journey, I have had a few experiences in which loved ones in my life who have passed away made their presence felt to me as I was walking. I didn’t need a costume because I am loved by my parents, grandparents, friends, they WANT me to feel their presence and accept my love, my apologies, my forgiveness. I want to be recognized by them and I want to recognize the ways God is bringing them to me. These are moments, experiences, of “thin places,” that leave us as quickly as they come.

And so this painful journey has been made easier, even joyful, as I was enveloped by unseen presences made present in an instant. Yesterday, Michael, the pilgrim, crossed the ultimate threshold in this life, making his destination, not Santiago, but Paradise.

I got lost TWICE in one day! It is easy to miss one of the markers of the Camino: a painted yellow arrow on a tree, a lamp post, on a road sign; a bronze like shell embedded in the road; or a blue sign with a white shell in the back ground and a black image of a pilgrim.

When you are completely alone, in a foreign country with limited language ability, it can be quite frightening. A few blog posts ago I wrote about reading the signs of the times. I need to remember to read the physical signs of the Camino giving me direction. One other time, the same day, a pilgrim riding his bike to Santiago stoped and yelled at me saying I was going down the wrong path. He pointed to one of the arrows painted on the road AND a small blue sign. How thoughtful, one pilgrim taking care of another. If I didn’t hear him that would have made getting lost three times!

Jesús teaches us in today’s gospel that the Kingdom is like a tiny mustard that grows into a huge tree giving shelter for the birds. Tiny seeds of kindness planted in the heart can gradually transform a challenging Camino into a journey of inner transformation.

The physical makeup of the Camino trail is a reflection of the many aspects that make up our characters. Life is not just a straight, smooth journey , unless you plan for it to be so. You can live a life that is protected and shielded from surprise and risk. And the journey becomes a calculation that you control so that everything goes “as planned.”

Pilgrimages free one from such a way of living, allowing one to let go and be surprised by unexpected happenings, unplanned surprises, new encounters. Your inner “terrains” surface new territories that create new challenges, pushing inner boundaries further from view. Your vision gradually changes, even “sharpens” as you climb up struggles, as your veer to one side or the other to avoid pitfalls, as you slow down exhilaration so you don’t lose balance.

The varied terrains of the Camino visibly express the twists and turns, the ups and downs, the messiness, the setbacks, the barriers, the rough patches, and even the smooth sailing on “level ground.” But these various terrains can only surface when we choose a different road or path that will involve climbing upward, changing pace, facing hurtles, dealing with “blisters” of fear and the “fractures” of painful memories. As unexplored, inner realities are allowed to surface, the path becomes more difficult.

But making it up the hill leads to a summit, a new inner freedom to “see” the world, your heart, in a broadened way. Healing…. freeing….peace… and you begin to move on, continuing to let go of the need to control the journey. You allow yourself to surrender to the Spirit of Christ who sends his angels to “lift you up, lest you dash your foot against the stone.”

I have been paying attention to the actual, physical makeup of the Camino ground path. It is so varied in its diverse contours, a combination of nature and human ingenuity. Paying attention to this aspect of the Camino is quite fascinating, for it reminds me of the great diversity of creation and how altitudes, mountains, hills and level ground, not to mention rain and sun, have played their part over the centuries in shaping the path of this ancient path.

How many people have imprinted their feet, sandal, shoe or boot on this path will never, and can never, be known. A number of famous people have walked the Camino, from St. Francis to Shirley MacLaine, but the vast majority are anonymous to history. In centuries past, many made the journey for penitential and religious reasons, a way to experience God’s mercy and Redemption.

Some still do and I am one of them but a growing number of people have transformed the pilgrimage into a more secular journey of self discovery. The Camino has become very popular, the thing to do, with nearly a half a million walking each year. My first Camino, about 12 years ago, there were less than two hundred thousand.

Part Two will be tomorrow. This is too long and I’m tired. If you need any special prayer intention please send through email for privacy. Frfrankjohn56@gmail.com

Yes, Jesus tells us we must learn to read the signs of the times to make wise choices rooted in facing the truth in what we experience. It’s so easy to become blind to difficult truths we don’t want to face. Truths that burst our bubbles of control and complacency. I had to face a difficult truth the day I started the Camino.

It was a horrible day. Every bit of it. The walk was very painful on my legs and back. It got worse the higher I climbed. I kept thinking that I won’t make it over those Pyrenees. They are beautiful to look at but difficult in treading the endless uphill climb. Endless. I met a couple who asked me if I needed help and I thanked them and said I would make.

I met a father and his daughter at one of the impasses and the three of us chose the same path after walking over 9 hours. The last two hours were truly horrible. It was then, after walking 9 hours that I faced reality, a difficult one. I finally read the signs of the times…. And getting older.

I made the choice to take a bus to Pamplona the next morning and I discovered a company that transports backpacks to the next town you are heading for. In Pamplona, I arranged for the backpack to precede my journey. I walked very well with a tiny daypack, in the pouring rain, up one of the steepest inclines on the Camino: the “Alto de Perdon” or the “Mount of forgiveness and mercy.” I arrived at my hostal with my bag waiting for me. My attitude is much better

I did the unthinkable: I took a day off just after one day of walking!! I vowed NEVER to do such a thing, which seemed to be taking the easy way out. I promised some of you I wouldn’t be foolish, knowing deep down I would be stubborn and do the ENTIRE Camino. After all, I have done it before. Piece of cake.

When humility set in, I was able to “read the signs of the time” and decided to get on a bus and take a day off. My world of certainty and taking things for granted was shattered, as was my feelings about the Camino. I’m not sure where or how this Camino will turn out, whether I walk into Santiago or leave and come home early. I am open to reading the signs of the times.

I just finished praying in the Church of the Crucifixion in the town of Puente de Reina. A beautiful name for a church that has the most powerful depictions of the crucifixion I’ve ever seen. I will keep this image of ABSOLUTE LOVE in my heart as I continue.

Sign of Contradiction

Jesus speaks very clearly, directly and with deep conviction. His words perplex, they challenge, they turn our worlds upside down AND inside out: “Do you think I have come to establish peace on earth? No, I tell you , not peace but division.” Jesus goes on to say that this division will occur right in the middle of the family: households will be divided.

The reading began with Jesus declaring that he has come to set the world on fire and to embrace a “baptism,” another sign of struggle. We have ALL been baptized in the FIRE of the Holy Spirit, but has that fire dimmed to the point of barely shedding any light? Division occurs when you make choices for the gospel, to live the Beatitudes and what they teach. If you are making those choices you will most definitely experience division. A sad truth. But the fire of your faith will be ignited!!

The election fast approaching is causing many divisions, especially in marriages, families and friendships. Yes, Jesus makes it clear that His Gospel and His Way and Truth must take center stage, even if it means division of the ending of a relationship or career.

We are to become a sign of contradiction to the values of the world that run contrary to the social teachings of the church. In the upcoming election, make the choice that might cause a great deal of discomfort for some around you. Be a “sign of contradiction” by loving the untouchables, by putting the Kingdom of Jesus before country, by letting go of the need to control, by praying for your enemy, by refusing to “buy” into consumerism, by respecting human life at all stages, no exceptions, by welcoming the excluded in our church.

PEACE

Waiting To Begin

I made it to St. John Pied de Port yesterday. Walking around this beautiful village on a day that is dreary and wet. The weather for tomorrow is supposed to be beautiful!! Great for the first day. I got my first stamp of the journey at the Pilgrim’s Welcome Office and a kind gentleman offering me helpful suggestions. The first being take plenty of food and water because nothing is open or available for the entire walk tomorrow. The second being to a series of phone numbers he gave me in case I need help.

Very few pilgrims so far, which is fine by me. I’m just waiting right now in the beautiful 11th century church of this village. Silence while waiting is essential, allowing the mind to enter the heart. Jesus teaches us today to prepare for his unannounced, and often sudden, appearance. Often in the wait, we get lazy and lose focus. There is a sense of urgency in the words of Jesus. Advent is fast approaching and calling us to re-center our waiting.

And so I sit in silence, waiting, as the Pyrenees seem to be calling me. By name! I’ll bring food, water and those phone numbers…. Just in case.

How do you find security in your life? As I approach retirement, I’m feeling much less secure, financially. I didn’t plan things out too well. So many people I know have multiple investments in IRA’s, Portfolios, real estate and pensions, for those of us old enough to know all about pensions and how they are not so secure.

Today’s gospel all about a man searching for security in the things of this world. building larger and larger barns, filling each to capacity, thinking at some point, he can relax, enjoy life, eat, drink and be merry!! What a fool this man is. When he dies, all m the things he thought would bring him security died with him.

I’m slowly learning that security in retirement ultimately means being satisfied with what you have and accepting the limited number of choices one can make. Money may bring a degree of freedom and security, but the true security lies deep within our hearts, where Christ dwells. Surrender to Christ’s love and you will discover a security nothing or no one can take from you.

I am writing this in a world of chaos: a train station in the heart of Paris. Hundreds and hundreds of people winding around with all sorts of luggage in arms or trailing behind, people trying to find the right platform. I couldn’t even find the trains!!!

Truly… but I’m at peace in this cacophony of humanity, missing one train waiting four hours for the next. I must remind myself that I am a pilgrim, making a bit of progress as I journey to the Pyrenees.

Peace. Fr. Frank

Well, I was supposed to have a Business Upgrade, allowing me entrance into the fabled “Polaris Lounge” but was quickly denied entrance. It seems I was put on a waiting list and was told I wound never make the upgrade given the totally booked flight.

So here I sit at airport, waiting to board at 5:30. I got here early to have a grand lunch in that upper crust lounge. I ended up eating a dry Starbuck’s sandwich with lukewarm coffee, the worst kind of coffee. A pilgrimage is supposed to be about self denial, simplicity, and economy class. I’m off to a great start.

Peace. Fr. Frank

just to let anyone who sends me a comment, I’m not sure how to reply. The reply button seems to be for those who are replying to my post. Hopefully, I’ll figure this out.